We all know what it’s like to put our guard up.
Maybe you crack a joke when you’re hurting.
Maybe you change the subject when things get too close.
Maybe you suddenly go blank or tired in the middle of a difficult conversation.
These protective habits—what therapists call defences—aren’t signs of weakness. They’re signs of wisdom. At some point in your life, they helped you feel safe when emotions felt too big, too risky, or too lonely to manage on your own.
The trouble is, what once protected you can start to block the very connection, clarity, or relief you’re hoping for now.